SO WHERE'D YOU MEET HER?
AT THE SKATING RINK. I,UH,RAN OVER HER THUMB.
TAKE MY ADVICE. INTRODUCE HER TO YOUR FRIENDS GIN AND TONIC,
AND THEN YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE WITH HER.
-TAKE SOME SKATING LESSONS. -YES.
-HEY,BOSS,IRISH COFFEE. -HEAVY ON THE IRISH,RIGHT?
-OF COURSE. WHAT WERE YOU HOPING FOR - -UPSTAIRS,INSIDE?
-GOTTA BE INSIDE,DOWNSTAIRS, -BOSS. THEY'RE BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
BEARS MADE HIBERNATION FAMOUS. BATS HIBERNATE,TOO...
SPINY ANTEATERS, EVEN SOME RODENTS...
BACK OFF. TO SPEND THE WINTER MONTHS IN A SLEEPLIKE STA.
HER NAME'S VALERIE PALMER.
SHE'S AN AIR HOSTESS FOR PAN ATLANTIC.
-THAT MAKES TWO. -TWO WHAT?
TWO STEWS. COUPLE OF MONTHS BACK,ANOTHER GIRL GOT DEAD-
ANNA-LISA FRANCO. CASE IS STILL OPEN.
WE NEED TO GET THIS GUY BEFORE THERE'S A THIRD
-AND THE PRESS GET WIND OF IT. -WELL,WE FOUND VALERIE'S PURSE.
CASH AND CARDS STILL THERE.
WITNESS SAW A MAN RUNNING NORTH WEARING A MASK.
-WHAT KIND OF MASK? -A SKI MASK.
SHE'S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR. WE SHOULD GET A RAPE KIT. A WHAT KIT?
OH,WE FOUND HER FLIGHT CASE,TOO.
HER DIARY WAS IN THERE WITH HER CLOTHES AND STUFF.
READ IT.
REALLY?
IT'S HER DIARY.
CHRIS,SHE'S DEAD.
-HER DIARY MIGHT TELL US WHO WANTED HER THAT WAY. -BEARS MADE HIBERNATION FAMOUS,BUT BATS HIBERNATE,TOO!
AND THE HIBERNATION KEEPS GOING AND GOING D GOING.
HIBERNATION'S SO IMPORTANT FOR MANY SPECIES... OHH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU FLY THIS GIRL BEFORE THERE,SPACEMAN?
HOLY COW.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
WHAT IS IT?
ANNIE.
ANNIE,YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.
THIS IS REALLY QUITE EXTRAORDINARY.
IT'S LIKE SHE COULD BE YOUR TWIN.
MY NAME IS SAM TYLER.
I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT, AND I WOKE UP IN 1973.
I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHY I'M HERE,
BUT WHATEVER'S HAPPENED,
IT'S LIKE I'VE LANDED ON A DIFFERENT PLANET.
NOW MAYBE IF I CAN WORK OUT THE REASON,I CAN GET HOME.
-==破烂熊乐园==- 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业用途
-=破烂熊字幕组=- 时间轴:kami
-==http://www.ragbear.com==- LIFE ON MARS.US. 第1季第14集
ANNIE,YOU OKAY?
UM... MM,NOT REALLY.
NOT REALLY AT ALL.
LISTEN,THAT- ERE'S NO EXPLANATION...
THAT OCCURS TO ME FOR THIS.
WELL,AS A MAN WHO IS INTIMATELY FAMILIAR
WITH UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENON, I WOULDN'T OVERTHINK IT.
OVERTHINK IT?
I'VE HAD A LOT OF PRACTICE LATELY
TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF THINGS
THAT DON'T MAKE A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE.
YOU SAY YOU'RE FROM THE FUTURE.
AND YOUR MOTHER- WELL,SHE'S MY AGE.
AND YOUR FATHER?
UH,I WAS ATTACKED BY A MAN THAT YOU SAY WAS YOUR FATHER.
AND NOW A STEWARDESS TURNS UP DEAD
WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME.
AND YOU SAY, "DON'T OVERTHINK IT."
I KNOW IT'S A LOT,
AND I AM HAPPY TO TAKE THE BLAME. ALL RIGHT?
I'M JUST SORRY THE CRAZY SEEMS TO BE RUBBING OFF ON YOU.
YOU DON'T GET IT. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.
THIS IS ABOUT ME,MY LIFE.
LOOK AT THAT GIRL'S FACE BACK THERE.
LOOK AT ME.
HOW CAN YOU JUST STAND THERE
AND INSIST THAT THIS IS SOME PUPPET SHOW
THAT'S BEING PERFORMED IN YOUR HEAD?
ANNIE.
I'M SORRY.
VALERIE DIED OF BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
THERE WAS EVIDEN OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY
IN THE 48 HOURS FORE SHE DIED,
BUT NOTHG THAT WOULD INDICATE IT WAS ANYTHING BUT CONSENSUAL.
ENTER!
TYLER,GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WE NEED YOUR EXPERTISE WITH THIS SURVEILLANCE STUFF
YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT. OKAY.
-DO YOU LIKE ANYONE FOR THE VALERIE PALMER MURDER? -NOT YET.
WELL,ANNA-LISA FRANCO AND VALERIE PALMER
-LIVED IN THE SAME BUILDING IN CHELSEA. -YEAH,A LOT OF STEWS LIVE THERE.
IT'S LIKE THE PLAYBOY MANSION, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
I'M PICTURING PILLOW FIGHTS AND PILLBOX HATS.
THAT DOES SOUND LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO START.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE THINKING, BUT LAST TIME AROUND,
OUR INVESTIGATION GOT STALLED.
WE NEED TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS TIME.
-DIFFERENT? DIFFERENT HOW? -DIFFERENT...
THAT.
OH,YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
***********
GOING UNDERCOVER AS A DEAD GIRL IS AN INSANE IDEA,
-EVEN FOR HUNT. -IT WAS MY IDEA,SAM.
-YOUR IDEA? -MM-HMM.
-WHY?-WE KNOW THAT THE KILLER WORE A MASK.
AS FAR AS HE'S CONCERNED, VALERIE NEVER SAW HIS FACE.
SO I SHOULDN'T POSE ANY IMMEDIATE THREAT.
YEAH,EXCEPT TT HE LEFT YOU FOR DEAD,
-AND HE'S GONNA MAKE SURE HE GETS IT RIGHT THE SECOND TIME. -WE'LL BRING HIM DOWN BEFORE HE DOES.
LOOK,SAM,I WENT THROUGH NAISA'S FILE.
IT WAS NOTHING BUT DEAD ENDS.
WE HAVE NO LEADS IN VALERIE'S CASE.
WE CAN'T JUST STAND BY AND LET ANOTHER GIRL TURN UP DEAD.
NO. NO,NO,NO. ANNIE,WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?
I NEED ANSWERS.
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET 'EM BY POSING
-AS A DEAD FLIGHT ATTENDANT? -NO,I'M GONNA GET THEM BY POSING AS A DEAD STEWARDESS.
RIGHT,SAME THING. SOME DAY THAT WORD
-WILL BECOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT. -WHY?
I'M NOT SURE. I GUESS IT'S DEMEANING?
REALLY? WILL THE SAME BE SAID FOR "SEAMSTRESS" AND "PRINCESS"
IN THIS WONDERFUL FUTURE OF YOURS?
OKAY,I-I THINK WE'RE GETTING OFF-TOPIC HERE.
SAM,THERE IS NO NEXT OF KIN TO NOTIFY.
THIS GIRL LED A VERY LONELY EXISTENCE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN HER DIARY.
SHE WAS A RECENT TRANSFER TO NEW YORK.
-SHE WAS JUST GETTING TO KNOW HER CREWMATES. -THAT'S NO REASON.
I CAN DO THIS,SAM, AND I WOULD LIKE IT VERY MUCH
IF I HAD YOUR HELP.
YOU'LL WEAR THIS PIN AT ALL TIMES.
THERE'S A MICROPHONE HIDDEN RIGHT HERE.
SO I WOULDN'T LET ANYBODY GET TOO FRISKY-
"A," 'CAUSE THEY'LL FIND THE DEVICE,
AND "B," 'CAUSE WE'LL BE MONITORING YOU,
AND THE LAST THING I NEED TO HEAR
-IS THE SOUND OF YOUR WHOOPIE MOAN. -THIS IS THE PAN ATLANTIC AIR HOSTESS MANUAL.
"A GIRDLE MUST BE WORN AT ALL TIMES... "
"DUE TO THE PRESSURIZATION OF THE CABIN AT FLYING ALTITUDE,
"THE ABDOMEN CAN BECOME DISNDED,
CAUSING AN UNFLATTERING WAISTLINE."
OKAY. I'M FROM ALBUQUERQUE,NEW MEXICO.
MY PARENTS DIED WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD.
I WAS RAISED BY MY UNCLE FRANK.
WHEN HE PASSED AWAY EARLIER THIS YEAR,
I DECIDED TO PURSUE MY DREAM OF SEEING THE WORLD
AND BECOME AN AIRLINE STEWARDESS.
OKAY. CAN YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME?
SURE. CAN I JUST SAY ONE MORE TIME
WHAT AN AWFUL IDEA I THINK THIS IS?
YOU CAN,AND I CAN REMIND YOU OF ALL THE RIDICULOUS SITUATIONS
-YOU'VE PUT YOURSELF INTO. -OH,SO WHAT,YOU'RE TRYING TO OUT-IDIOT ME?
NO,I'M TRYING TO DO MY JOB, CATCH A KILLER-JUST LIKE YOU.
* I'VE JUST BEEN FAKIN' IT *
* NOT REALLY MAKIN' IT *
HELLO,MISS PALMER.
WELCOME HOME.
HI,WILSON.
VALERIE LIVES IN A DOORMAN BUILDING IN CHELSEA
WITH TWO OTHER STEWARDESSES.
SHE'S NOT AT ALL THAT CLOSE TO HER ROOMMATES CAROL AND LESLIE.
SEEMS LIKE VALERIE LIKES TO DO HER OWN THING.
HEY,CHRIS. TAKE YOUR DATE OUT IN THIS LOVE MACHINE?
IT'S MY USIN'S VAN. WHAT,IT'S COOL.
ALL RIGHT,LET ME GUESS-
-UPSTAIRS,OUTSIDE,AND YOU GOT SLAPPED. -GIVE HIM SOME CREDIT,RAY.
UPSTAIRS,INSIDE?
WELL,I-I DID WHAT YOU SAID,RAY.
SHE HAD SOME COCKTAILS,AND... MM.
AND WHAT? WELL,I HAD TO HAVE A FEW COCKTAILS.
I MEAN,OTHERWISE IT LOOKS SUSPICIOUS.
-GOOD. -I GOT MY HAND ON HER BLOUSE...
-MM-HMM. -OUTSIDE,UPSTAIRS.
-GOOD BOY. -AND,UH,I GO IN FOR THE KISS,
AND... IT ALL CAME OUT.
WHATDID?
YOU GOT SICK ON HER?
-ALL OVER HER FACE... -OHH.
AND IN HER MOUTH.
-THAT'S NOT FUNNY. -THAT'S DISGUSTING.
-SOMEONE'S AT THE FRONT DOOR. -WAIT. GUYS,GUYS. ANNIE'S LIVE.
OH!
HI.
VALERIE?
HI.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
OH,MY GOD. I'M GONNA THROW UP.
HEY,SOUNDS LIKE YOUR KIND OF TWIRL,CHRIS.
-YOU GUYS COULD SWAP VOMIT. -SHUT UP.
-YOU CLEANED THE APARTMENT? -IT WAS KIND OF MESSY.
IT'S ALWAYS MESSY, PRIMARILY BECAUSE OF YOU
UH,IT LOOKS GREAT.
I NEVER KNEW THAT WAS A COUCH.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A SPAWNING GROUND
FOR DIRTY SWEATERS.
NO-NUTS HAD TO TIDY UP? SHE ALMOST BLEW HER COVER.
IT'S OKAY. TIDYING UP IS THE PERFECT WAY TO COVER
THAT SHE SPENT THE LAST HOUR TURNING OVER THE APARTMENT.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST TWO DAYS? YOU JUST DISAPPEARED.
I WAS MUGGED.
-I HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. -REALLY?
YEAH. YOU'RE OKAY?
YEAH,I WAS HIT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD,
-AND THEY HELD ME A COUPLE DAYS FOR OBSERVATION. -WHAT DID THEY TAKE?
YOU KNOW,NOT MUCH.
-JUST A LITTLE CASH,MY TRANSISTOR RADIO. -OHH. YOU LOVED THAT RADIO.
I KNOW.
YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED.
YOU KNOW-I KNOW. I SHOULD'VE.
I WAS JUST A LITTLE OUT OF IT.
I SHOULD GO CHECK ON LESLIE.
THAT NEW NAVIGATOR CHALLENGED HER
TO A HARVEY WALLBANGER CHUGGING CONTEST.
OH.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY, VALERIE.
SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE IN.
NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY HERE
EXCEPT A LOT OF PICTURES OF DAVID CASSIDY.
THERE'S A LOOSE CEILING PANEL.
OH,MY GOD.
THERE MUST BE CLOSE TO $2,000 HERE.
WHAT'S A STEW DOING WITH THAT KIND OF CRINKLE?
-I'M GUESSING NOTHING GOOD. -IT'S A DATE BOOK.
THERE'S A HIGHLIGHTED ENTRY FOR TOMORROW.
"FLIGHT 413,SEAT 2-B.
$500."
GET HOLD OF A PASSENGER MANIFEST.
SHE'S DOING GOOD IN THERE.
YEAH,SHE IS. I'M GONNA GO OUT FOR SOME AIR.
CONFIRM THAT WITH THE AIRLINE.
Hey,Annie.
Hey,Annie,it's Sam.
SAM?
Is that you?
-EAH. -YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.
Thanks.
VALERIE REALLY HAD A THING FOR DAVID CASSIDY.
-"I THINK I LOVE YOU." -EXCUSE ME?
THE-THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S BIGGEST HIT.
OH! RIGHT.
SO WHAT'S HUNT THINKING ABOUT FLIGHT 413?
WELL,WE'RE- WE'RE CONTACTING THE AIRLINE.
WE'LL KNOW MORE IN THE MORNING.
Sam, can I tell you something?
SURE.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE BEFORE.
SERIOUSLY?
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I'VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK BEFORE.
WOW. UM,WELL,
SOMETIMES IT'S NICE
TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, YOU KNOW?
SOMEWHERE ELSE...
FAR,FAR AWAY FROM HOME.
YOU KNOW,WHEN I WAS A KID,
UM,I HAD THIS,UH...
OLD WASHING MACHINE BOX,
AND I USED TO PRETEND IT WAS A SPACESHIP.
AND THERE WAS,UM, THIS MAGAZINE
I USED TO TAKE WITH ME ON BOARD.
ON THE COVER WAS A PICTURE OF A BOY
WITH A SMILING STEWARDESS TAKING CARE OF HIM.
SHE BECAME MY... MY PROTECTOR...
MY SENTINEL.
So are you tellinge
GOING UNDERCOVER IS LIKE PLAYING MAKE-BELIEVE?
YEAH,MAYBE A LITTLE.
GOOD NIGHT,SAM.
SWEET DREAMS,ANNIE.
***********
-SEAT 2-B WILL BE OCCUPIED BY LINCOLN HART.
HE'S A REGULAR FLYER ON PAN ATLANTIC.
HART WAS ON ANNA-LISA FRANCO'S LAST FLIGHT,TOO.
HE'S ALSO BEEN COLLARED FOR POSSESSION WITH INTENT TO SELL,
BUT HIS LAWYERS GOT THE EVIDENCE SUPPRESSED,
CHARGES WERE DROPPED,
-AND THIS CLOWN IS STILL FLYIN' FIRST-CLASS. -WHATEVER HE'S GOT PLANNED FOR TODAY'S FLIGHT,
-I WANT TO MAKE SURE ANNIE'S COVERED. -SO WHAT'S OUR PLAN,BOSS?
OH,IT'S A BEAUT.
HEY,CAROL.
-DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH YOUR HAIR? -JUST A NEW HEADBAND.
I LOVE IT MADLY. HEY.
VALERIE?
I HEARD YOU WERE ATTACKED.
I WAS. I'M OKAY.
YOU KNOW,I'M MORE CONCERNED WHAT YOU DID TO HIM.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF WHEN YOU'RE CORNERED.
GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK IN MY BIRD,PUSSYCAT.
-UGH. HE'S SO FINE.- UGH. HE'S LIKE A SCULPTURE OF TOM JONES
MA OUT OF CREAM CHEESE.
OH,BUT HE'S CUTE.
WHO'S THAT?
YOU KNOW HIM?
-WE'VE MET A FEW TIMES. -OH,YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE ME.
HE CAN PUT MY TRAY IN THE UPRIGHT POSITION.
WE SHOULD GET STARTED ON PREFLIGHT.
-WHISKEY? -UH,NO,THANKS. I'M,UH,FLYING IN AN HOUR.
I KNOW. YOU'RE DEADHEADING ON MY BIRD.
RONALD HARRIS.
TOM... CRUISE.
-TOM-TOM CRUISE. -WELL,TOM,YOU'RE OFF DUTY.
YOU'RE NOT FLYING,SO RELAX, ENJOY THE RIDE.
I'LL MAKE SURE THE GIRLS TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
CHEERS.
HEY,BABY.
HI.
PILOTS AND THEIR RITUALS.
I'VE NEVER MET A MORE SUPERSTITIOUS BUNCH.
RITA,THIS IS TOM CRUISE. TOM,RITA'S MY WIFE.
I TOOK HER AWAY FROM STEWING,
AND SHE'S MADE ME REGRET IT EVER SINCE.
-YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN. -THAT I AM,TOM.
RITA AT HOME,SEXY STEWS AT WORK. YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.
DON'T LOOK SO SURPRISED, TOM.
YOU KNOW MOST BOYS BECOME PILOTS
BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE IDEA OF FLIGHT-
NOTHING BUT SKY AND SEA
AND A LINE RUNNING ACROSS THE HORIZON.
MY RONALD HERE LOVES THE IDEA OF STEWS-
NOING BUT LIPS AND LASHES
AND A LINE RUNNING ALL THE WAY UP THE BACK OF A STOCKING.
MWAH! HAVE A GREAT FLIGHT, HONEYBUNCH.
BRING ME BACK SOMETHING NICE FROM DENVER.
LOOKS LIKE A FULL FLIGHT.
EXCUSE ME,MA'AM.
OH,SURE. THANKS.
HI THERE.
WOULD YOU LIKE A BLANKET?
HEY THERE,MISSY.
-I GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE. -WHAT'S THAT?
I GOT NO NUTS.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT WITH MY NO-NUTS SITUATION?
BECAUSE I REALLY HATE NO NUTS.
OF COURSE,SIR.
AND I LIKE 'EM WARM.
HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?
I'M OKAY.
I JUST HOPE I DON'T GET AIRSICK. THAT COULD BE EMBARRASSING.
YOU'LL BE FINE. JUST HOLD ON.
UH-OH. BOGEY,1:00.
WE'RE ABOUT TO PUSH FROM GATE.
SEAT BELT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'RE EXPECTING SOME TURBULENCE
DUE TO A PASSING STORM FRONT.
SO WATCH YOURSELVES IN THE AISLE.
BUT WE SHOULD BE THROUGIT MOMENTARILY.
DO YOU HAVE IT?
UM... WELL-
DO YOU HAVE IT?
YES.
THAT'S MY GIRL.
I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT IT.
ALL CREW MEMBERS, PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.
EXCUSE ME.
HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!
HEY! AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? KNOCK IT OFF!
-STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME! -WHAT? AAH!
SEEIN' HER ALIVE SPOOK YOU ROTTEN,MONKEY FACE?
-NO! SHE WAS TOYING WITH ME! -SHUT UP!
EVERYBODY,RELAX. I'M NYPD.
-WHAT'S GOING ON? -TURN THIS BIRD AROUND. WE'RE HEADING BACK TO NEW YORK.
*******
YOU PAID OFF OTHER STEWARDESSES, TOO,DIDN'T YOU?
IT'S A PRIVATE ARRANGEMENT WHICH THOSE WOMEN ARE VERY HAPPY WITH.
IT'S NOT ILLEGAL. I WANT MY LAWYER.
WHAT ABOUT ANNA-LISA FRANCO?
I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.
YOU ATTACKED VALERIE FOR NOT GIVING YOU YOUR STASH,
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ANNA-LISA,ISN'T IT?
SHE MESSED UP ON YOUR DRUG LIVERY,SO YOU KILLED HER.
WHOA. DRUGS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WE SEARCHED MR. HART'S APARTMENT AND FOUND THESE.
I DON'T BUY DRUGS.
I PAY STEWARDESSES BECAUSE I WANT THEIR UNDERWEAR.
KEPT 'EM IN HIS PERSONAL SAFE KE THEY WERE BANK BONDS.
THEY'RE EVEN MORE VALUABLE.
ANYTHING THAT RESIDES BENEATH THOSE YUMMY STEW UNIFORMS,
-I WANT THEM,AND I PAY TOP DOLLAR. -YEAH. HE EVEN KEPT A LOG OF HIS TRANSACTIONS.
HE'S A NOOKIE BOOKIE.
HE BREAKS THESE THIN OUT,
AND THEN HE TAKES HERMAN TO THE CIRCUS.
HE WHAT?
YOU KNOW... TORTURE THE TENTACLE? CHOKE KOJAK? OH.
PLAY TUG-OF-WAR WITH THE CYCLOPS? GOT IT.
YOUR LAST TRANSACTION WITH VALERIE PALMER-
YOU FOLLOWEDER HOME, DIDN'T YOU?
ROUGHED HER UP, GRABBED HER KNICKERS?
NO. ASK HER YOURSELF.
AFTER I GOT MY MERCHANDISE, I WENT TO WORK.
SHE WAS WITH THAT MUSTACHIOED PILOT WHO'S ALWAYS ALL OVER HER.
PROBABLY THAT PILOT RONALD HARRIS.
THAT'D MAKE HIM THE LAST PERSON TO SEE VALERIE ALIVE.
ALIVE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
LET'S CHECK OUT MR. HART'S,UH,ALIBI.
YOU TOUCH THOSE, I'LL BREAK BOTH YOUR HANDS,
WHICH COULD PUT A DAMPER ON YOUR... PADDLING THE CANOE.
A MARTINI?
I'D LOVE THAT, REALLY.
HEY.
SHH,SHH,SHH.
WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO CATCH UP ON THE FLIGHT.
I WASN'T SURE IF YOU'D TALK TO ME AGAIN.
THINGS GOT A LITTLE ROUGH LAST TIME.
WELL,I'M A BIG GIRL.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
I'VE MISSED YOU AT OUR PARTIES.
MAYBE I'LL HAVE TO START COMING AGAIN.
I DON'T KNOW. LAST TIME YOU WERE NO FUN.
ARE YOU'RE SAYING YOU'VE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART?
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.
YOU'RE NOT LIKE MOST MUSTACHED MEN I KNOW...
ALWAYS COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.
YEAH,RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN HAVING
THIS LITTLE FANTASY.
I'M BRINGING YOU DESSERT IN THE COCKPIT.
YOU TELL THE NAVIGATOR AND THE COPILOT TO LEAVE,
AND THEY DO, SO IT'S JUST YOU AND ME
AND THE DEEP BLUE SKY.
YOU TELL ME TO TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES,AND I DO,
LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
I SERVE YOU YOUR HOT FUDGE SUNDAE COMPLETELY NAKED,
AND THEN I SPOON THE WHIPPED CREAM
ALL OVER MY WARM,SOFT BODY.
WE'RE HAVING ONE TOMORROW NIGHT.
8:00 SHARP. BE THERE.
REMEMBER THE RULES,THOUGH. BRING A DATE...
BUT NOT SOMEONE TOO GOOD-LOOKIN'.
YOU KNOW HOW JEALOUS I GET.
I THINK HE BOUGHT IT.
THAT WAS GOOD. NO-NUTS DID GOOD.
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM.
"I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.
"I DIDN'T. I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GO HOME,
"BACK TO ALBUQUERQUE.
"NO,THERE'S NO ONE LEFT THERE THAT KNOWS MY NAME.
"BUT NEW YORK CITY IS A BEAST.
"IT HAS A ROAR.
"YOU CAN HEAR IT WHEN YOU OPEN A WINDOW.
"IT'S A MONSTER, AND IT SUSTAINS ITSELF
"ON A STEADY DIET OF GIRLS LIKE ME.
YOU CAN FEEL THAT IN ITS ROAR."
SAM, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
SURE,CHRIS. WHAT GOES ON?
WELL,YOU KNOW THAT, UM,TWIRL THAT I WAS DATING?
THE ONE YOU BLEW CNKS ON?
-YEAH. -YEAH?
WELL,IT TOOK SOME DOING,
BUT,UH,SHE AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME AGAIN.
-GOOD. -AND I WAS,,I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD GIVE ME SOME POINTERS,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE WOMEN LIKE YOU,
AND... GOOD-LOOKIN' AND...
OKAY.
UM,WELL,LOOK,FORGET WHAT THESE APES TOLD YOU.
JUST BE YOURSELF AND RELAX.
YOUR DATE'S A HUMAN BEING. SHE-SHE'S NOT A "TWIRL."
-MM. -SHE'LL BE NERVOUS.
SHE'LL WANT TO BE LIKED, JUST LIKE YOU.
JUST BE KIND AND SHOW HER SOME RESPECT,THAT'S ALL.
ALL RIGHT,WE GOT THE SCOOP FROM ONE OF RONALD'S NEIGHBORS.
HE THROWS THESE COUPLEONLY PARTIES
WHERE PEOPLE DON'T LEAVE TILL THE NEXT DAY.
HE RECOGNIZED ANNA-LISA'S PHOTOGRAPH,
-SAID SHE WAS A FREQUENT GUEST. -THEY'RE SWINGERS.
-WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT GOES ON THERE. -BOSS,IT'S WHEN COUPLES
HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH EACH OTHER'S PARTNERS.
THANK YOU, MASTERS AND JOHNSON.
I MEANT THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING GOING ON
-THAT GOT TWO GIRLS KILLED. -OH.
SEND NORRIS IN.
-OH,COME ON. I-I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. -YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S A GREAT IDEA- INSPIRED,EVEN.
SHE'S GONNA NEED A DATE.
GREAT. A SEX PARTY, AND WE'RE SENDING IN PAT BOONE.
GET DRESSED AND GET NORRIS.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF THIS WAS WHO SHE REALLY WAS.
YOU KNOW,I THINK SHE WAS JUST THIS SAD,LONELY GIRL
WHO-WHO LOVED DAVID CASSIDY AND WANTED TO GO BACK
TO ALBUQUERQUE,BUT SHE-SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FAMILY THERE,
SO S LET HERSELF BE ADOPTED BY THESE PEOPLE.
WITH THEIR SEX PARTIES AND THEIR TERRIBLE TURTLENECKS. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS,ANNIE.
WE HAVE TO BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE DIRECTION OUR LIVES TAKE. SAYS THE MAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE FROM THE FUTURE.
SO IF SOMEONE GETS FRESH WITH YOU,I WANT YOU TO GO
FOR THE TRACHEA OR THE EYES OR THE GROIN.
WE DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF LINCOLN HART. YOU KNOW,I WAS THINKING ABOUT OUR BACKSTORY-
-YOU KNOW,HOW WE MET. -YEP.
YOUR NAME IS,UH,TOM, BUT I CALL YOU TOMMY.
AND WE MET AT THIS NIGHTCLUB IN PRAGUE WHERE A LOT OF STEWS
AND PILOTS GO,AND,UH,
THEY WERE HAVING THIS AMATEUR DANCE COMPETITION,
AND YOU WERE REALLY PATHETIC, AND I TOOK PITY ON YOU.
UH,IMPROBABLE,'CAUSE I HAVE EXCELLENT DANCE MOVES.
NO. I SAW A PASSENGER GET FRESH WITH YOU,
AND I BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS MEAL TRAY.
OKAY? AND TELL EVERYBODY AT THE PARTY THAT,
'CAUSE,YOU KNOW, THEY'LL STAY AWAY.
-DON'T YOU THINK THAT MIGHT BLOW OUR COVER? -I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT OUR COVER.
YOU GET HURT, I'LL LEVEL THE PLACE!
AHEM.
OR,YOU KNOW,WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE NIGHTCLUB IN PRAGUE?
I GIVE THIS OPERATION TEN MINUTES
BEFORE NO-NUTS BLOWS HER COVER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? HEY,CHRIS.
IT'S A SEX PARTY,WITH SEX. TALKIN' THE TALK IS ONE THING,
BUT NORRIS IS FRIGID LIKE AN ICE CUBE IN AN ESKIMO'S... HOLY COW.
EGGNOG.
-OKAY. READY,VAL? -READY,TOMMY.
HEY! I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT.
COME ON IN. COME IN.
HELLO. MWAH. HI.
HEY,EVERYBODY,THIS IS VALERIE PALMER AND TOM CRUISE.
THIS IS MR. AND MRS. COLLINS...
HELLO. AND MR. AND MRS. MILTON.
HI.
OH. THERE YOU GO,TOM. OH.
OH,DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM. THAT CAMERA'S GOING AWAY
AFTER DINNER,ISN'T IT,HMM? TOMMY! GREAT TO SEE YOU,CHAMP.
CAPTAIN. VAL,YOU LOOK LIKE A CHERRY TOMATO
AT THE END OF A KEBAB STICK. OH!
DANCE? SURE.
MM? IS YOUR MIKE ON?
UH,YES,IT IS,YEAH. OKAY. I'M GONNA TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
IF HE TRIES ANYTHING, GO FOR THE TRACHEA. OKAY.
OR THE GROIN.
TOM CRUISE. MM.
THAT'S THE NAME OF A MAN WHO LIKES TO TAKE CHARGE.
SO WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT? ME?
MM. UH,I'M - I'M ABOUT,UH,RISKY BUSINESS
WITH THE COLOR OF MONEY
AND,UH,A FEW GOOD MEN.
OH,REALLY? I'M SORRY. NOT MY CUP OF MEAT.
OH,NO,I DID- I DIDN'T MEAN...
I GOT ALL THE RIGHT MOVES.
IF I WAS IN THERE, I'D BE AT SECOND BASE BY NOW.
AAH!
I THINK ANNIE'S MIKE IS OUT.
AH,THIS DAMN TECHNOLOGY! WHAT IS ALL THIS CRAP?
THIS IS NO WAY TO DO HONEST POLICE WORK.
YEAH. SAM THINKS THAT,UH,
THIS STUFF'S GONNA BRING DOWN RICHARD NIXON.
OH,REALLY? LIKE NIXON WON'T NOTICE
THE UGLY VAN PARKED OUTSIDE THE WHE HOUSE?
LET ME OUTTA HERE. LET ME OUTTA HERE.
SO YOUR DATE...
HE SOFT ON YOU?
NO. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
GOOD. AUSE YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE SHARING YOU.
HMM. HMM.
WELL,I HOPE EVERYONE IS SUITABLY LUBRICATED.
LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
UH,VALERIE,HONEY, WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
VAL'S NEVER SHY, ARE YOU,BABE?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO BE SHY ABOUT?
THANK YOU.
HELLO,ALL!
SORRY I'M LATE. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
OH,I'M SORRY.
UH,THESE ARE FRIENDS OF OURS-
UH,GEORGE AND LAURA BUSH. NO, NO. THIS PARTY'S INVITATION-ONLY.
OH,I'M SO SORRY,RONALD. I MEANT TO ASK YOU.
GEORGE,I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT.
CHANGE IN PLANS.
MY WIFE COMPLAINS I DON'T TAKE HER OUT ENOUGH.
SOCIALIZE,HONEY.
I LIKE HIM.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? ANNIE'S MIKE WENT OUT.
I THINK MR. BUSH SHOULD BE ALLOWETO STAY.
ALL RIGHT,MR. BUSH. YOUR KEYS.
WELL, THIS SHOULD BE FUN.
HERE WE GO.
OH! OH.
I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A DOSE OF THUNDER.
SADDLE UP.
OH! WHOA,NELLY! WHOA.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT GONNA GET OUR OWN GIRLS,ARE WE? THAT'D BE A DRAG.
ALL RIGHT. I GUESS I'LL...
HEY,HEY,HEY! WELL, THIS WORKS OUT JUST PEACHY.
I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN THE MORNING.
TRACHEA. EXCUSE ME.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE,TOM.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
ARE YOU GONNA KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON ALL NIGHT?
EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKING THEIRS OFF.
I THOUGHT I'D BE DIFFERENT. THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME,ISN'T IT?
IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?
IT'S JUST ALL SO MUCH TO TAKE IN,YOU KNOW?
MM.
SO YOU REALLY LIKE THE SWINGERS' LIFESTYLE,HUH?
I LIKE WHATEVER RONALD LIKES.
WHAT DOES RONALD LIKE?
DOES HE LIKE IT ROUGH?
SOMETIMES.
ES HE LIKE TO... TIE UP GIRLS?
HURT THEM?
NO MORE THAN THEY WANNA BE HURT.
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN MY HUSBAND,HMM?
OH,I JUST,UH...
HMM? HI.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT I CAN GET AWAY WITH.
FALLING IN LOVE IS AGAINST THE RULES.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS UP FOR GRABS.
HMM?
WHOA.
YOU FREAK!
WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT?
-WE HEARD YOU SCREAM. -WE WERE ROLE-PLAYING.
I WAS GETTING INFORMATION.
-HE ADMITTED TO ROUGHING UP ANNA-LISA. -EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU GENTLEMEN LEAVE?
HUH? I'M BEING PUNISHED.
OH,EXCUSE ME.
HERE,LET ME HELP YOU.
UHH!
WELL,FROM THE TOYS WE FOUND IN THE OTHER ROOM,
HE'S INTO BONDAGE, AND NOT JUST GETTIN' WHIPPED.
HE LIKES TO HURT HIS WOMEN. GOOD WORK. NOW BLOW.
I'M GONNA ASK BAD BOY HERE SOME QUESTIONS,
AND IT'S GONNA GET ROUGH.
NOT BAD. WHO THE HELL WAS THAT WOMAN YOU BROUGHT HERE?
A HOOKER I KNOW. OH. LOVELY.
-WHAT'S GOING ON? WHO ARE YOU? -WE'RE THE POLICE.
-WE KNOW YOU HAD RELATIONS WITH ANNA-LISA FRANCO. -WHAT HAPPENED? THE HORSEPLAY GET ROUGH?
I SPANKED HER NOW AND THEN. THERE WAS NO PERMANENT DAMAGE.
YOU'RE A COP,TOM CRUISE?
YEAH. AND WHAT ABOUT VALERIE?
WE KNOW THAT THINGS GOT ROUGH BETWEEN YOU TWO,
AND YOU KILL HER, AND YOU DUMPED HER BODY
-LIKE IT WAS TRASH. -WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? VALERIE'S FINE!
SHE'S RIGHT OUTSIDE!
ANNIE? ANNIE,WHERE ARE YOU?
WE HEARD AIE CALLING FOR HELP. WE CAME AS SOON AS WE COULD.
AAH! LET ME GO! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
COME ON,COME ON,ANNIE! GIVE US SOMETHING!
THEY GOT A GOOD HEAD START,
-AND I DON'T KNOW HOW FAR THE SIGNAL WILL TRAVEL. -LET ME GO.
-SHH,SHH! -PLEASE LET ME GO. MY FOLKS LIVE RIGHT HERE ON WEST-
WEST...
WEST... WEST WHAT,DAMN IT?
-WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF RANGE IF I DON'T GET A LOCATION SOON. -I KNOW!
BEARS MADE HIBERNATION FAMOUS,
-BUT BATS HIBERNATE,TOO! SPINY ANTEATERS... -THE DUMP SITE!
POOR-WILLS,A SMALL BIRD OF THE WESTERN UNITED STATES-
THEY HAVE A NOTE OF TWO SYLLABLES ONLY.
THEY ALSO HIBERNATE!
YOU HOME-WRECKING LITTLE SLUT!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU THREW THE PARTY.
-I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME THERE. -PLEASE. RONALD WANTED YOU THERE.
JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE MY HUSBAND HAPPY
DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA LET SOME LITTLE TART LIKE YOU
TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME. SEX IS ONE THING.
BUT FALLING IN LOVE... THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
I SAW THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ANNA-LISA...
THEN YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOUR HUSBAND.
HE USED TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU ONCE BEFORE.
WELL...
I WON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.
-HEY,BUDDY,YOU SEE ANYONE COME THROUGH HERE? -NO.
-ANYONE AT ALL? -NO.
-UH,A WHITE FEMALE,BRUNETTE -AAH!
ANNIE!
YOU ALL RIGHT?
SHE CONFESSED TO KILLING VALERIE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
GOT HER IN THE TRACHEA.
GO,NUTS!
CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID IT.
LOVELY RITA...
A KILLER.
SHE S JEALOUS.
WOMEN.
I'LL NEVER FIGURE THEM OUT.
THEY'RE NOT SO COMPLICATED.
YOU JUST SHOULDN'T TOY WITH THEIR AFFECTIONS.
YOU'RE NOT OF THE TIMES,CHAMP.
I SEE SOMETHING I WANT, I GO FOR IT.
I SAW THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING AT VALERIE
OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ABOUT IT?
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT BETWEEN US.
BALONEY. I MAY NOT KNOW WOMEN, SLICK,BUT I KNOW MEN.
I KNOW WHAT A MAN WHO DIGS A WOMAN LOOKS LIKE.
AND YOU,SLICK,
YOU'RE A MAN WHO DIGS A WOMAN.
(The Partridge Family's "Point Me in the Direction of Albuquerque" playing)
VALERIE WASN'T A BAD PERSON. SHE JUST GOT CAUGHT UP
IN ALL THE WRONG THINGS ALONG THE WAY,
AND BEFORE SHE REALIZED IT, IT WAS TOO LATE.
AND WHAT ABOUT THESE UNEXPLAINED THINGS
HAPPENING TO YOU? DID YOU GET ANY CLOSER TO FIGURING THEM OUT?
I DID.
I WONDERED WHY THE UNIVERSE PUT ME IN VALERIE'S SHOES.
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE OFOW ALIKE WE ARE,
AND I DON'T JUST MEAN PHYSICALLY.
YOU KNOW,I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. WHY?
VALERIE HAD DREAM WHEN SHE BECAME A STEWARDESS,
BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT WRONG.
I HAD A DREAM,TOO, WHEN I JOINED THE POLICE FORCE.
THEN AFTER BEING "NO-NUTS WITH THE DOUGHNUTS"
FOR SO LONG, I'VE LOST SIGHT OF THAT.
WELL, I GUESS THE QUESTION IS...
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABT IT?
ENTER!
SIR,I'M A GOOD COP.
NO,.
I'M A GREAT COP.
I'VE MADE BREAKS IN HALF A DOZEN CASES THIS YEAR.
I WANT TO BE A DETECTIVE.
I'M READY, AND I THINK I DESERVE IT.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M HERE.
BUT HERE...
CAN'T BE ALL I HAVE.
I JUST,UH, I- I WANTED TO SATHANK YOU.
WHAT FOR?
-WELL,I-I HAD A DATE WITH MY GIRL. -MM. HOW'D IT GO?
IT WAS,UM... REALLY NICE.
GOOD.
NICE IS GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT.
ANNIE?
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